OK, so over Christmas break I bought a 95 Ford Windstar. Story below.

She is nicknamed "the Patriot" and we will travel the country together, celebrating Freedom, allegiance to our leaders, and flags. When the next Orange Alert strikes fear in the hearts of our nation’s children, I will be there to inspire pride in them, teach them to hate our enemies, and drop them off at practice.

Addendum: Just to clarify, my van doesn’t have a flag on it; it’s just white. I photoshopped a pic off the web.